We are once again going on another journey back to Philippines. I'm gonna say this vacation wasn't as fun as the last one because it was a surprise trip. No one knew in our family we were coming not even my grandma! lol We were planning on spending Christmas and our New Year celebration there. Oh, well. Only one person knew and that was my aunt. My cousins are very distant towards me now and I can understand. They are growing up and are becoming mature adults. Both of them are teachers and my other cousins are busy working. So basically the only ones I was able to hang out and have fun with were one of my cousin's kids who are basically my niece and nephew. Pretty soon my female teacher cousins will get married to their boyfriends and might want to find their own place. They can still live with my grandma though. Grandma is getting old and she's getting way up there in age so I don't know what will happen to the house there once she leaves us. I don't want that to happen of course but that's just nature running its course.The house was originally built by my mother and she sends money to Philippines to my grandma to pay for the land. The land's title deed was originally my father but when he died back in 1988 when I was 2 years old the ownership of that land now goes to my name. My other uncles over there somehow have the land deed or title and they want me to get it so that the land can be in my name officially. The problem is that I live here in the US and I'm now a US citizen. I thought in order to own land there I gotta be a Philippine citizen but I'm not even a dual citizen. If you ask me I'd prefer to live in America I feel more welcomed here than over there. It's just not the same as it use to be when I was a child. Back when I was a kid going to Philippines was full of love, fun and adventures. Now it's all about land, work and business. I haven't forgotten my memories and attachment to Philippines but the people I once care about are growing more distant and cold towards me. It's like the ones who are closest to you either friends or family who end up losing you. I guess time changes us as we grow older. I hold nothing against them. If they want to do whatever it is they want that's fine with me. Even my grandma doesn't see me the same way anymore. It makes me sad sometimes but that's the price of living so far away and also the price of growing up with time. You could say a feeling of resentment and distance is starting to grow in me. I try to meditate sometimes to find inner peace which helps a lot.
We are once again going on another journey back to Philippines. I'm gonna say this vacation wasn't as fun as the last one because it was a surprise trip. No one knew in our family we were coming not even my grandma! lol We were planning on spending Christmas and our New Year celebration there. Oh, well. Only one person knew and that was my aunt. My cousins are very distant towards me now and I can understand. They are growing up and are becoming mature adults. Both of them are teachers and my other cousins are busy working. So basically the only ones I was able to hang out and have fun with were one of my cousin's kids who are basically my niece and nephew. Pretty soon my female teacher cousins will get married to their boyfriends and might want to find their own place. They can still live with my grandma though. Grandma is getting old and she's getting way up there in age so I don't know what will happen to the house there once she leaves us. I don't want that to happen of course but that's just nature running its course.The house was originally built by my mother and she sends money to Philippines to my grandma to pay for the land. The land's title deed was originally my father but when he died back in 1988 when I was 2 years old the ownership of that land now goes to my name. My other uncles over there somehow have the land deed or title and they want me to get it so that the land can be in my name officially. The problem is that I live here in the US and I'm now a US citizen. I thought in order to own land there I gotta be a Philippine citizen but I'm not even a dual citizen. If you ask me I'd prefer to live in America I feel more welcomed here than over there. It's just not the same as it use to be when I was a child. Back when I was a kid going to Philippines was full of love, fun and adventures. Now it's all about land, work and business. I haven't forgotten my memories and attachment to Philippines but the people I once care about are growing more distant and cold towards me. It's like the ones who are closest to you either friends or family who end up losing you. I guess time changes us as we grow older. I hold nothing against them. If they want to do whatever it is they want that's fine with me. Even my grandma doesn't see me the same way anymore. It makes me sad sometimes but that's the price of living so far away and also the price of growing up with time. You could say a feeling of resentment and distance is starting to grow in me. I try to meditate sometimes to find inner peace which helps a lot.
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